In today’s culture, a woman of virtue is hard to find. She’s like a diamond in the rocks because today’s women want attention more than respect. But the true value of a woman is eternally priceless and the one who recognizes this refuses to compromise herself to anything less than she knows her worth to be.
A virtuous woman never goes out of style. You won’t find her posing half-naked for a million likes or popping off at the mouth without self-control. She’s not the type of girl you text for spontaneous pleasures. When you’re around her you’ll feel the sense to treat her and talk to her with decency. In fact, she may not be like any girl you’ve ever known.
No, this woman is “wifey material” because she takes her life seriously and surrounds herself with purpose. She behaves with dignity and speaks with wisdom. She lives for the things that matter and is honored in her home along with everyone she meets. She won’t settle for the depraved standards of the world because she is full of confidence in the woman she was crafted to be. Yet her spirit is gentle and her words are kind. She’s generous with her love and extends her hands to those in need. She’s not perfect but she knows who she is in Christ.
Here are 10 biblical markings we can identify of a godly woman based on the fruit she produces in her life.
1. Self Control
For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. – 2 Timothy 1:7
So train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled…” – Titus 2: 3-4
A godly woman abides in the spirit of Christ which produces self-control in her life; over her mouth, over her body and over her actions. She fully thinks through her choices to make sure she’s making sound decisions that reflect Christ in her life. She’s not perfect but a majority of the time she’s consistent. It’s not that she’s stuck up or no fun! She could be the life of the party! But still she embraces a life of purpose and doesn’t want to cause those around her to stumble in their own lives. A woman of God exercises self control to bring out the best in herself and the best in those around her.
2. Cares for Her Household and is Hospitable.
The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down. – Proverbs 13:1
She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. -Proverbs 31:27
The churches here in the province of Asia send greetings in the Lord, as do Aquila and Priscilla and all the others who gather in their home for church meetings.- 1 Corinthians 16:19
Godly women realize their house is their first ministry. If they cannot help lead their households, which is the core of their life, then how can she lead the rest of the world with integrity. Her husband, children and family are attended to first and foremost. The house is run with purpose and order to be a place that fosters the growth of her family. True leadership is a private thing long before its a public thing. [Click to tweet this]
And she opens her house hospitably in service to the Kingdom. After all everything belongs to the Lord and so she realizes her home is His home. Aquila and Priscilla were good friends of Paul who shared in his work. This traveling couple welcomingly established a church in their home wherever they went setting a remarkable example of hospitality.
3. Lives in Modesty
Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. – 1 Corinthians 16:19
Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works. 1 Timothy 2:9-10
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. -Proverbs 31:30
There’s one thing about modesty I want to point out that I think we’ve missed. Modesty is not simply a clothing style. Modesty is an attitude of the heart. Like we see in Proverbs 31:10, the heart of modesty is the heart of worshiping and glorifying our holy God in all we do including what we say, our behaviors and our appearance. Modesty is a lifestyle. When you know that God, the Holy Spirit, is living on the inside of you, and your body is His dwelling place to do his work on this earth, you’re going to represent yourself according to what you’re carrying.
And I do want to clarify 1 Timothy 2:10 for those who are freaking out, like wait, so I can’t braid my hair or wear jewelry?! This is one of those books we need to take into proper context according to the culture of that time. In the days of Timothy and Paul women would braid their hair high atop their heads interwoven with extravagant jewels almost as a showcase equivalent to a beauty pageant. Paul is challenging us to redefine our exterior motives and encourages women to enrich the spiritual quality of their life on the inside. The church isn’t meant to be a fashion show but a place of worship! Our beauty should primarily shine from the fruit of our hearts and service to God rather than the outward appearance. What are we focused on the most?
4. Produces Good Works
Women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do. -1 Timothy 2:10
She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. – Proverbs 31:20
A godly woman will naturally produce good works because that’s just the nature of God’s spirit. She extends her hand to those in need because she genuinely cares for them. She’s not self-centered. Her Christian walk isn’t all about going to church to see what God has to offer her but she’s compelled to live out her faith and so good works are the fruit of everything she does and everyone she encounters. A godly woman creates change for good because she serves a good God. He is reflected in her work.
5. Speaks with Wisdom and Kindness
She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. Proverbs 31:16
A godly woman is considerate of her words. This goes back to self control and the two go hand in hand. She thinks before she speaks about how what she says affects those she’s communicating with. Her words uplift and empower but they speak the truth in wisdom. They don’t degrade or lash out in hostility. A godly woman is mindful of her speech because it reflects the type of person she is which follows back to the representation of Christ in her life.
6. Submits to Her Husband
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. – Ephesians 5:22-23
An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones. – Proverbs 12:4
Biblical marriage summed up is this: the wife submits to the headship of her husband and the husband lays down his life to accommodate his wife. There’s a perfect balance that God has ordained in the institution of marriage so that the family structure would remain grounded. They are equal as individuals within order. A godly woman has no problem recognizing the healthy authority a husband and father has in his household and serves alongside him toward a common goal: a healthy family. She is his helper and an advocate of his greatest potential.
This is in no form conding abuse or a controlling type of authority. Scripture goes on to instruct men to love her to the point that he’d be willing to lay down his life for her (Eph. 5:25), to not be harsh with her (Col. 3:19) and to honor her (1 Pet. 3:7-8). So in full context this puts everything in proper balance.
7. Has a Teachable Spirit
When it was Esther’s turn to go to the king, she accepted the advice of Hegai, the eunuch in charge of the harem. She asked for nothing except what he suggested, and she was admired by everyone who saw her. – Esther 2:15
A godly woman is humble enough to accept wise teaching and apply it to her greatest potential. She isn’t a woman who’s stuck in her ways and can’t be told anything as if she has it all together, hence prideful. She’s willing to graciously hear out the suggestions of others without becoming overly defensive. A godly woman heeds the advice of wise counselors and grows from it.
8. Is Hardworking and Sacrificial
So Ruth gathered barley there all day, and when she beat out the grain that evening, it filled an entire basket. -Ruth 2:17
Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. -Colossians 3:23
A godly woman commits herself to working in excellence and dedication. Everything she does is an act of service to the Lord and for the welfare of her family which is enough motivation to give her all.
9. Is Trustworthy and Honest
Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. -Proverbs 31:11-12
You can rely on a godly woman to speak the truth with integrity. She’s not going to get caught up in the gossip game or display deceptive behavior because her character is one of her biggest qualities. And she does her very best to maintain that character. You can trust her to do the right thing, the just thing and the noble thing because God is her compass. And if she falls, because no one is perfect, she gets back up and back on the mark with consistent pursuit.
10. Is led by the Word and not by the World
Mary responded, “I am the Lord’s servant. May everything you have said about me come true.” And then the angel left her. – Luke 1:38
A godly woman can’t be a woman of God if she’s not submitted to God. She’s surrendered to the will of God and the purpose of God. She doesn’t look to the world as her standard but to the Word of God to order her steps in wisdom and strength. [Click to tweet this] She doesn’t look like the world, she doesn’t talk like the world and she doesn’t behave like the world. She is set apart specifically for the call of God in her life whether that be in her home, at school or on the job. Christ isn’t just a part of her life or just a Sunday visit. He is her life and impacts every decision she makes personally and publicly. And so she actively produces the fruits of His Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. A woman of God is most of all led by God.
Many would call the godly woman “old-school” or out-dated but we see what society looks like when things are done the worlds way. In fact, I would challenge that we need more godly women, young and old, to be restored to our homes and neighborhoods bringing love, peace, wisdom and order to our communities. When you find a godly woman as a wife, as a friend and as a family member you hold onto her and you cherish her because she is a diamond in the rocks. The godly woman is timeless.
Prayer: Lord please help shape us into the women you’ve created us to be. Even in the struggle against our own selves may we have the strength to grow into this mighty woman you’ve called us out to be. Renew our minds and fill us with your Spirit so that we may reflect you in a way worthy of honor and praise. In the precious name of Jesus, Amen.
Is there a woman in your life who has been a prime example of what being a woman of God is really like? What do you think about the pressures of woman being conformed into today’s “music video” image across culture? Let’s talk about it. Comment below!