Sometimes we tend to hold onto things in our life that are honestly doing way more damage than good. But not until we take a step back and honestly view these people and behaviors for what they are will we begin to address it and set free again. Here are 10 things you need to let go of to allow peace into your life again….
Healthy relationships are always characterized by those which help you grow overall (assuming that investment goes both ways). They’re supportive, selfless and bring out the best in you. Toxic relationships on the other hand steadily take instead of give. They drain you, stress you out and reduce you as a person.
Although you think we’d be wise enough to not hold onto these types of characters we tend to keep them for multiple reasons: 1. We keep hoping they’ll change and therefore make excuses for their behavior. 2. We feel obligated to them either because they’re a relative or played a significant role in your past. 3. We’ve become so familiar with it that we’ve become comfortable with their behavior making it subconsciously acceptable. Or 4. All of the above. What you allow WILL continue and more than likely grow. People will only change when they decide they want to. Speak up for yourself. Don’t allow yourself to continue to be corrupted or dragged down by enabling negative toxic behavior. Have enough respect for yourself to have a healthy standard of what is and isn’t allowed in your life. At some point a line needs to be drawn by either change or distance.
Being Obsessed With What People Think About You
There is no better way to waste the energy of thinking than giving power to the opinions of others over your life. No one should have that much control over you. The moment we start weighing our every word, action and appearance on the basis of whether people will accept it or not is the moment we become their slave. You’ll never be at peace with yourself while constantly trying to “measure up” to being accepted by every person you come into contact with. It’s impossible to please everyone and you’ll die trying. Be the best you can be and the right people will love you for who you are.
The Fear of Heartbreak
So many people are building walls instead of bridges for the fear of being hurt not realizing that those walls have soon become a self- imposed prison. You don’t let anyone in, you don’t trust a soul and can’t connect genuinely with another being because of a traumatic experience where you got hurt. Or worse you use people for your self pleasure or to your advantage out of shallowness for the fear of getting too deep. You begin to project old wounds onto your view of all people and the world.
But we were created to love and be loved. And I just don’t mean romantically but a genuine soul flow from one person to another. It expands our lives. I believe love is given, but trust is earned. So use discernment on the character of those you let closely into your lives but stop robbing yourself of the liberty to love freely and unconditionally because YOU choose to love, uncontrolled by the actions of others.
Constantly Making Comparisons
Majority of the reason most people are unhappy today, is not because they don’t have everything they want or need, but because they’re too busy comparing their backstage to someone else’s front stage. Social Networking doesn’t help much either. We see the highlight reel of the best moments of our friend’s and associate’s lives daily and instantly begin comparing- sometimes subconsciously. A perfect life is just not realistic (mine included). You never know what really goes on in a person’s life. The only person we should be comparing ourselves to is the old us and the growth we’re making. Do yourself the biggest favor and decide to never compare your life to another human being again. Everyone’s fighting some sort of battle.
The Constant Need to Be in Control
Admit it, you’re a control freak. The day should roll out just as you expected it to, your work should’ve produced the results you expected the way you expected it and any sudden changes or setbacks somewhat freak you out. Sometimes we hold on so tightly to our expectations and what’s familiar that when changes take place we find ourselves anxious, frustrated or maybe even angry. We’ve built security around the things that we can control and so when we can’t control a situation or outcome we step into the unknown and some level of fear takes over us. I want to encourage you to become more adaptable because the fact is that life always has surprises and we have to accept that. In moments like this we are still responsible to do what we can, with what we have, the best that we can and literally leave the rest to God trusting and knowing that He has GOOD plans for us. We need to learn to be flexible with our days (not stuck) and accept the things we can’t control with a positive attitude….because the way we look at the problem is usually the problem and our outlook is something we can control.
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