Setting Boundaries with Your Inner Critic

Copy of anxiety (12)


Do you know who talks to you more than anyone in this world?


You do.


You have ongoing conversations with yourself in each moment- weighing and interpreting the events going on in life and with people around you.


But many times our own voice can become our worst enemy. What should be a balanced and wholesome conversation has habitually become an open door to find new ways to attack ourselves.


This is especially the case for those who are perfectionists, are in the grips of disappointment or long to be accepted.


At some point we need to redirect the conversation that’s going on in our heads. This is something that we are fully in control of (and many times have to intentionally practice when we’ve neglected to self-correct our thoughts for so long).


I’ve found that writing/journaling has been the most productive in working out what’s processing within my mind. Today, I wrote an open letter to my inner critic and maybe you’d like to consider writing one too. We can also identify many of these as the voice of the enemy. But the reason we write to our own thoughts is because we are at war with the one’s we have accepted and made our own. It’s time to identify some solid thought-boundaries.



Dear Inner Critic,


I appreciate you. I appreciate you because you make sure that I hold to my convictions, live in truth and protect me from Pride. For this reason, you will always have your place. I will give you a seat at the table when your feedback is constructive. When it becomes destructive, you will be excused. So, today we need to set some boundaries because you have started to overstep your place.


You are allowed to bring shortcoming’s to my attention so I can humbly better myself.


You are not allowed to define my identity because of it.


You are allowed to show me where my actions were misguided so I can do better the next time.


You are not allowed to bind me to the failings of my past.


You are allowed to alert me to become aware of these things. I’ll get it the first and second time.


You are not allowed to rampage in a cycle of shame which produces no fruit.


You are allowed to warn me of the potential dangers should I step out and take risks so I can weigh my decisions.


You are not allowed to withdraw me to the persecution of fear and self-doubt.


You are allowed to take in constructive criticism from those around me so that I can grow in wisdom and understanding.


You are not allowed to let the reckless opinions of others override the security of who God says I am and who I know myself to be.


I lay this out today so that we’re both clear on where your voice begins and ends. Going forward it will be strictly enforced. I know I cannot make you go away forever, because you hold a necessary balance that keeps my thoughts checked into reality. So here’s to a brighter journey that works together and not against each other.

Brittney Moses (2)




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Hi friend, Im Brittney and Im so glad youre here! Im a Los Angeles-based author, content creator, podcast host, wife to Jason and mama to Austin. And Ive been blogging here for the past 10 years! As a graduate of psychology and research at UCLA, I help to reduce stigma and assist with helpful information at the intersection of mental health and faith, with some fun lifestyle tips along the way. So lets dive in!

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Leave a Comment


  1. I needed this & I love it!! Thank you so much Brittney!! ♥

    Posted 2.2.17 Reply
  2. Kayla Lesofsky wrote:

    the posts you have and words you use move mountains for me. thank you so much.

    Posted 5.17.17 Reply
  3. Suzanne wrote:

    I can’t find the words to describe how timely this post is for me!
    Thank you and God bless you!

    Posted 7.14.17 Reply
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